Being Unprepared
I already knew a great deal about the
music business before I returned to South Florida but nothing could prepare me for
the changes that occurred in my absence.
Growing up I couldn’t wait to be one of the many horn players I saw
performing in sold out shows everywhere I went.
The music scene, in general, is not what it used to be but it has
definitely taken a sour note back home.
While there are successful groups still performing in the area they are overshadowed by one-man gigs due to the fact that
businesses simply do not have enough to compensate More and more
performers without decent skill levels shower the scene but before I turned this
into a rant let me make the most important statement in this entry, the music
industry today is not meant to be about music!
Coming into the industry with the idea that the best will be heard and awarded lead
to my downfall . . .
Nail in the Coffin
At the time of my album release I
should’ve been excited to have the world finally hear what I have to say. For some reason one of the best times in my
life was overshadows by self-doubt.
I had a similar feeling when I attained my graduate degree from FullSail University a few months later. Although
I was aware of the milestones that I reached I had an uneasy feeling like I
wasn’t competent enough to get to the next level. My doubt kept me from promoting that album
well and it also kept me from sticking my head out a little bit further to
secure a job upon graduating.
So what gave the fatal blow to my
pride? Ellis Williams did . . . . Ellis
Williams wouldn’t allow me to just give up sooner and listen to other’s advice
and make my plan more foolproof. Yes,
things happen out of our control sometimes but we all make decisions based on
what we want to do rather than what we need to do.
The day I moved back into my
mother’s home I felt defeated, beaten, and unfulfilled. How could a talented musician with two
degrees be at such a low point win his career? It was during this time that I decided that I
did not want to pursue music anymore therefore losing my passion for the
art. Once I treated music like my job I lost what really mattered to me most, my passion, hence leading to my
inevitable death.
